Hace Calor
by Damned Caeli
Summary: In an out of country mission, Integra suffers from lack of clothing and extreme heat .How can she survive especially if Alucard is sticking to her like glue? ^_^ Pls. Review
1. Default Chapter

**Author's Blah-Blah:** Hi! Um, another 'funny' fic for you AxI fans ^_^ I am still considering if I should continue my "Me Gustas Cuando Callas", so I took a break from that fic and decided to make another one. I actually wasn't supposed to make this but a recent summer thing inspired me to do so. Don't worry this is just a two to three part humor fic and I might able to finish it in a week or two weeks time since I still have a few weeks left before my summer class. The update of this fic also depends if you guys demand it or not *wink-wink*

**Hace Calor  (Part One)**

            Integra for the nth time fidgeted on the bed as she tried to sit as comfortable as possible.

            She couldn't.

            She stood up and tried helpless to gain control over her dilemma. The blonde let out a hiss as she pulled the tight leather skirt further down into her knees, but the stubborn material shortened once again to its original length that was 3 inches above her knee. It showed how lovely and long her legs were.  

            She was sweating from the effort of tugging that stupid skirt that she just had to tie her hair up and when she lifted her arms to gather her long silken strands the tight blue t-shirt she wore rode up high on the mid-section of her tummy to once again reveal more of that creamy skin of hers.

            Gritting her teeth, she dropped her hands back to her sides and faced a very amused Alucard sitting on a chair opposite of her bed. She had tried her very best to ignore him but the sounds that he had been emitting pushed her to finally acknowledge his unwelcome presence.

            "I take you are enjoying yourself?" She asked in a clipped tone.

            Red eyes shone with delight, "Of course I am. Then with a wink he added, "Especially now that I am seeing more than what I used to."

            The vampire was having the time of his life seeing Integra in very close-fitting and short garments that practically exuded her femininity. He was also very entertained to see her battle out with herself as she tried to sit and walk around wearing Ceras' normal daywear clothes. 

            Integra felt her anger reigning over her but through the Anger Management Book she read out of boredom, she just sighed and massaged her aching temples. If it wasn't so hot in this country and if she was wearing her normal clothes then maybe she would probably be out just to be rid of Alucard and his minions even for some measly minutes.

            She tried to assess her situation logically: _Out of the country for a mission to eliminate some damn FREAKS. Out here in a foreign, tropical and obviously hot country with nothing to wear save for Ceras ill-fitting clothes. Out here in a foreign country, hot and irritated with the gruesome trio born to make a living hell out of my life. Out of the country and I am aching to go back home. Oh yeah, this surely is an interesting trip._

            Deciding that evaluating her situation wasn't helping her at all she just glared the other way so as just not to meet Alucard's intimidating gaze she caught her own reflection on a dressing table and winced. Right then and there, her very own image doubled up the persistent ache throbbing on her head.

            "I look stupid. I look like an over-grown Ceras. I look like an Amazon woman wearing modern skimpy clothes," She hissed under her breath as she tried uselessly to once again lengthen Ceras' 'shrunken clothes'.

            Walter who was busy loading more of Integra's things in her hotel room stifled laughter. Integra looked fiercely at him and warned, "Walter, keep your amusement to yourself or else you'll be sorry you ever met me."

            The Hellsing Steward tried to reason with her, "But Integra-sama, I don't see why you look so shattered just wearing some normal clothes for a change."

            Integra in rage threw a pillow straight into Walter's dignified expression, "You planned this didn't you? You deliberately left my suitcase so that I having no other choice would borrow from Ceras."

            Alucard guffawed clutching his stomach obviously finding this utterly entertaining. Integra shot him a venomous gaze and continued to berate the man for his schemes.

            She stood up and cruelly pointed a finger on Walter's well-puffed chest. "Walter, shame on you! Just look at the mess that I am in right now. Look at me I look like a … like a…transvestite! These clothes aren't for me. I stopped wearing skirts a long time ago. I don't wear skimpy tops that constrict my chest from breathing properly and most of all I don't wear skirts meant for panty peeks! And! Maybe it wasn't even an accident when Ceras by mistake spilled a whole pitcher of orange juice on my suit!!! " And with that said she sat back on the bed pulling her knees close together with her arms crossed over her chest.

            Walter patiently went to her and bowed, "I am sorry Integra-sama for being irresponsible. It wasn't really my intention to forget your luggage. Perhaps we can accompany you to a shop to buy some new clothes."

            Blue eyes widened, "With me wearing this? You must be kidding."

            Alucard snickered once more earning himself a bedroom slipper thrown in his direction. He caught in mid-air and gave his master a nasty wink but not before letting his hungry eyes roam on her exposed flesh.

            The Hellsing leader felt heat crept up to her cheeks. She was on the verge of loosing control over her emotions but still she tried to be rational and calm. Swallowing heaps of curses she wanted to throw to the gruesome trio  (Alucard, Ceras and Walter) she just spoke, "The suit that Ceras ruined, is it already washed? I do want t change my clothes now."

            A wave of gloom passed over Walter's face. "Stained, Integra-sama. Your suit is beyond repair or any strong detergent."

            _Liar,_ Integra thought.

            Walter still bowed added, "But then, it's a blessing after all. Your clothes, the ones we left aren't meant for a tropical country such as the place that we are in right now."        

            Integra now with a killer headache decided it was wise not to argue with any of them at all. For now, she'll let them have their way but tomorrow when her headache's gone she'll have the three of them lined up all for the heavenly experience of having living targets for her shooting practice.

            "Walter, thanks for taking care of my things, you are dismissed **now**."

            The old man smiled up to her and before he could utter one more degrading comments about how she ladylike she was wearing Ceras clothes she hushed him with the hazardous sound of her gun clicking.

            Walter went out of her room in a flash.

            Integra sighed hearing the door closed behind him. She was ready to order herself some ice cream to somehow relieve her from the heat she wasn't accustomed to when-

            "Now, what do we now?" Alucard asked all of a sudden.

            Integra visibly groaned, she realized that there's one more problem other than her lack of clothes and annoying summer heat and its Alucard. From the look in his eyes, Integra could tell that Alucard planned on staying with her **alone in her hotel room** and would probably make up some stupid and lame excuses so as nor to leave her side.

            _Oh, please someone save me from him,_ were Integra's last thoughts before Alucard's figure loomed over her.

            TBC

**Author's Blah2**: My nose is running while I am typing this. I want coffee but if I drink one more cup I swear I'll be a walking zombie once again and mom would probably berate me nonstop for that. 

            Oh, about that summer thing that inspired me to write this, the story is about my crush and me and it was something like this:

            One day my crush and I were just sitting by the pool when he invited me to swim but me afraid of getting sun-burned declined.

**My Crush:** Come on, you really look like a vampire now. Have some color on your skin. Be normal and swim like normal people do during summertime.

**Me**: No, I refuse.

**My Crush**: Ok *strips in front of my very eyes starting with his shirt*

**Me**: *hyperventilates*

**My Crush:** *takes off his long short pants to reveal well another short pants but skimpier and tighter*

**Me:** *nosebleeds*

**My Crush:** *plunges into the water come out for air and waves for me to join him*

**Me**: No, I won't give in to temptation. Weak-willed people hurt God. 

**My Crush**: Come on, if you drown I'll mouth to mouth you or something.

**Me**: *passes out from sheer ecstasy*

            Haha! Stupid story. Ok, so I am going now. I am off to kill some vermin for supper but before that, please review and please let me know if you want me to update some forgotten fic. I only have half a brain and two hands I tend to forget things. Yeah, I do. ^_^


	2. To battle or not to battle

**Author's Blah-Blah: **Hi! Well, I updated this fic due to the nice reviews that I received from you guys. *throws kisses* I love you all! Anyways, I am so exited right now coz for the 1st time I am going to cosplay an anime character! Wheeeeee!

_Paid people:_ Hooray for Caeli *cheers in a flat tone*

         Anyways, *pushes paid people away* I am going to cosplay as a vampire! Mwhahahahahahahhaha! About time I use my pale complexion and long wavy hair for something!

_Paid people: *_comes back stuffing money inside their pockets and cheers lifelessly once again* Hooray Caeli.

 But man! I am sooooooo broke! Never thought that textiles cause that much. Hell, I will starve myself for weeks for my vampy dress. Oh well, enough of my blah-blah about my costume. Just wanna say I am sorry because I know that this chapter sucks for the following reasons:  (1) This fic contains way too many explanations (2) Less humor (3) Due to excitement of the incoming Anime convention I can't think straight thus damaging my capacity to explain and type clearly.   

Hope you will enjoy this chapter though its kinda boring and confusing but I promise you the next installment will be just so good and naughty but again, I won't post unless you guys ask for it ^_^ Pls. Review!!!!!!

**Blue Flame Burn**: Hace Calor is my Spanish Teacher's favorite expression if it's hot like hell. I live in a tropical country and well- basically from the extreme heat now that I am experiencing that's all I can say and has kept in mind. Heheheheh, thanks for the compliment and stuff. I read Pablo Neruda's work a long time ago too and my passion and admiration for him ignited once again when I dug out his love poems. You good at span? ^_^ Maybe you can help me out with my tiny problem? Please? 

**Seravy: **I think this is funny too. And well, hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

Blue Quartz: Hi there! Well, I finally updated but I think this chapter is kinda dull. Oh well, basically I am an over all dreary person so it's kinda erm-expected. Hehehhehehe! 

**Yue no Miko:** Honestly, I am losing all my 'creative juices' whenever I read your fic. Me+ your fic= Insecurity  Thanks for the reviews! *glares* I am a very serious person, deadly serious but there's this wacky and out of control person lurking behind my Muraki-esque attitude. 

**M.Kasshoku: ***glomps* Thanks a bunch! Hehehehe, I sincerely doubt that Alucard will keep his distance. Heheh, as you can see I am torturing Integra once again. Hmm, I wonder now who will win?

Disclaimer: Hellsing not mine, hope that's clear enough.

**Hace Calor** (part two)

_Oh, please someone save me from him,_ were Integra's last thoughts before Alucard's figure loomed over her.

         "Master, you look so enticing today," He whispered huskily as he crawled on the bed Integra was sitting on.

         Integra swallowed hard and reached for her gun but Alucard was too fast for her. With his powers he easily pushed Integra's weapon down on the floor and farther underneath the bed. Frustrated, she decided to give him a swift kick down **there** but she realized the error and rashness of her movement when she lifted a leg and Alucard's patented grin grew wider. 

         "Oh Master I didn't know you were the black and lacy type… truly sensual." He commented lustfully.

         The blonde quickly lowered the raised leg and pulled her knees together. Oh, she was _so_ ready to kill Alucard right now.

         "I just can't believe it…lace. I thought you wear boxers or briefs." Alucard mumbled to himself, he looked dumbstruck at the panty peek that was bestowed to him a while ago. His red eyes shimmered with pure ecstasy and this added more to Integra's mountainous rage.

         The Hellsing leader wanted to attack Alucard, claw him or something but she settled on verbal assaults. Tempting Alucard to sumo-like attacks will probably hitch her skirt to sinful levels and that small garment _claiming_ to be a shirt would probably reveal much.  Having nothing much left for retribution, she just gave him her very own patented cold glare and hissed.  "You think I wore what? Boxers and briefs? That's sick, I am still female you know." 

         Alucard just smirked at her spiteful tone and closed the distance even more by crawling to her with ease and grace of a cat trapping his prey.

         (Caeli: Er cat? Reminds me of something….Ohmigod! The Cat-asrophe fic! I just remembered that I left you guys hanging and I haven't updated that fic!!!)

         Integra edged her way farther backward until her back hit the headboard of the bed, she looked behind her frantically and thought _Damn Ceras! Damn her clothes! Damn orange juice! Damn them all!_

         "What's the matter? Afraid?" Alucard purred as he placed a gloved over her bare knee.

         Integra's blue eyes widened at that physical contact and she growled, "You know I could file rape for this. I swear one more move from you and I'll scream."

         The vampire laughed her accusation off, "And what? Let the other see you in that state? Honestly Master, I know I am quite a charmer and you can't file rape."

         "I am not afraid of you, I can file rape if you will let things go far."

         "Not if I can make you want me."

         A shiver went up to her spine, "What does that supposed to mean?"

         Alucard bent towards the already blushing Integra, "What if I can make you want me Master? What if I can make you respond to my touches?"

         "Impossible."

         There was a slight dipping of the bed as Alucard moved off from it. Integra's eyes narrowed with suspicion; Alucard might have something brewing on his mind but nonetheless she took this opportunity to grab the coverlet of the bed to wrap it about herself in two tights knots abover her shoulders. She tumbled off the bed in a flurry of bed sheets and proceeded to grab the gun underneath the bed. She then went to the farthest corner aiming a gun in Alucard's direction with the hotel's bedsheet wrapped ridiculously around her body.

         Alucard merely watched her in amusement. For him, the added garment covering his Master's body intensified his desire the more.  Hasn't it occurred to her that no matter what state of dress or undress she was, he would always and truly feel this insatiable craving for her and her alone? However, there was this problem that he has to solve first. He wouldn't dare make a move on Integra if she weren't feeling the same way and perhaps this plan of his can answer his question for him.  He settled himself on the chair opposite the dresser and crossed his legs and finally spoke, "Master I have a proposition, no more like a game actually/"

         A blonde brow raised in curiosity, "And what it is, pray tell me?"

         Alucard cleared his throat and replied, "Well, I know you know – actually everyone knows how I've grown addicted to you but it can stop."

         At Alucard's first statement Integra lowered her gun. "It _can _stop?". Alucard nodded his reply and Integra willed him to continue this time leaning comfortably against the will.

         "My game is simple and clean. I will stay here for the whole night until before dawn with you alone. I won't touch you or anything and that goes the same for you."

         "I don't get it," Integra interrupted.

         "I am not yet finished."

         "Ok, please continue."

         Alucard produced two mirrors from his pocket and placed them on the bed's surface. With gloved hands he motioned to them and continued, "These are the mirrors of truth and they are vital to us. As I've said we must not touch each other but the main objective of the game is for both of us is to make the other person touch us. In short entice or irk the person to touch you. For me, all you have to do is move, tempt me to at least trail my fingers across your skin. For me for you to touch me, I have to do things to seduce you or something."

         Integra was starting to get the picture however she still has some questions, "What if you failed and touched me?", she asked as she caressed the cold surface of the gun.

         "Well, I'll stay away from you for 10 years as for you, if you happened to be tempted enough to touch me then you MUST spend a night with me alone and do everything as I say." And with that finished, he grinned at her.

         Uneasiness spilled inside Integra, a voice at the back of her head told her it was just to easy and so she expressed her doubts. She sighed and held out a hand as if to give him the blatant disadvantages for him, "I don't get it Alucard, it seems that all is to my advantage."

         Alucard removed his hat and cloak and tossed them. Blue eyes cautiously watched the crimson garments fly into the air and land into the blue cushioned seat of a chair near her. She frowned at him and once again prodded him to answer.

         "Well, Master I do have self-control. If not touching you for a few measly hours can guarantee me something extravagantly special then I'll gladly endure it.. My concern actually is you Master, what if you can't control your emotions and touch me. What if from my enticing your control snapped and you hit me? If that happens I a truly the victor."

         "What if it was an accident hit, like I slipped and fell and happened to cling to you for support?" Integra demanded, she doesn't like the way things are going.

         "Then that's where the mirrors come. We each get one mirror and drop our blood on it the surface as the identifier. The mirror of truth by morning will reveal who desired who. So if by chance, I _accidentally _ fell on top of you and kissed your lips then the mirror will be the verdict of it. They will clearly reflect our truest and deepest emotion by morning. If the time ran out and you haven't touch me or me touch you then the mirror will be the one to judge for us "

         "How do I know these mirrors aren't fake?"

         "Master, I desire to have you in my arms right now and we both know very well that I can take you right here,right now without actually exerting an effort but here I am trying to give you a chance to rid of me somehow and that is if you will accept my proposal."

         Integra thought hard. Alucard was speaking the truth. With his powers he can have her and she wouldn't even stand a chance. If and when she became the victor of this at least she'll have peace and quiet for 10 years. She will only stand Alucard's presence during mission briefing and reporting nothing more. She wouldn't have to put up with his nightly visits and perverted thoughts."

         Alucard ran a finger between his lips and dangerously flashed her fangs to her. He sensually smiled at her, " Think about it Master, 10 years of quiet time. No Alucard to stand between you and your boring papers. Picture 10 years without hearing my voice raving about how beautiful and sexy you are. Imagine 10 years of me just being the good Hellsing dog you always wanted. Aren't those things I mentioned tempting?"

         Integra glared at him, "How about twenty years?"

         Alucard's red eyes widened, "Master, that's too much. 10 years, take it or leave it?"

         Integra walked forward and snatched the mirror and with a smile she said, "Take it."

         Alucard returned the rare smile with a smirk and stood up. He stuck a finger in his mouth and bit the tender flesh of it. He then grabbed the mirror and smeared the thick scarlet liquid evenly.

         Integra watched with bored eyes as Alucard's blood was absorbed by the smooth surface of the window. Then Alucard turned the mirror and placed it right in front of my face, she was surprised that she didn't see her own reflection.

         The Vampire explained, "The mirror only works before the sun rises so there's no reflection as you can see. They will reflect the person you desire because it will react and detect using the blood that was smeared on it."

         Integra nodded and looked for something sharp to wound her but her problem was easily solved when Alucard came up beside her and took her hand.

         Her heart stopped when Alucard placed a finger of hers inside his mouth. She felt a delicious thrill ran through her as she felt his tongue caress the tip of her finger. She quickly bowed her head, afraid that Alucard might see something in her face or eyes she herself hasn't recognized yet.

         Alucard gently grazed the sensitive skin of Integra's finger with the tip of his fang. He felt deliriously happy when he tasted the rich,coppery blood of hers. He felt his control wanting to snap so he speedily  let her finger out and spread the oozing blood on Integra's mirror. He didn't wait for the mirror to absorb the blood, he again took Integra's finger in her mouth and ran his tongue on the tip, immediately closing the wound.

         Integra felt tingling sensation on the finger that Alucard was now sinfully sucking on. She drew her hand away and abruptly turned away, determined to let the blush fade first before she would face him.

         With nimble fingers, he gently placed his and Integra's mirror on the dresser and sat on a chair, waiting for Integra to give him a go signal.

         Finally composed once again, Integra faced Alucard and said, "I just want to clarify a few things. 1st of all I shouldn't touch you but then I should do all sorts of things to make you loose control and touch me and if that happens the game is over and we won't be needing the mirror anymore cause well you finally gave in to your desires. 2nd  If you happened to touch me and proclaim it as an accident the mirror will determine whether it's true or not because it will reflect the person that you desire."

         "Yes, that's right."

         Integra closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Truth was, she wasn't exactly overjoyed by the rules but then just like Alucard playing the wanton for a while is just a small price to pay for 10 years of peace.Yes, she'd do that. Integra's hands reached for the tight knots of the bedsheets around her and prepared for the battle.

         She seductively grinned at Alucard and warned, "Alucard prepare to be silenced for 10 years."

         Alucard snorted, "Master, tomorrow night you'll be with me and only me and you'll be the obedient little slave that I always wanted you to become."

         At this, Integra only raised an eyebrow. She loosened the knots and let the ridiculously bulky bed sheets pool around her feet.

         The Hellsing Vampire feasted his eyes on an exposed Integra once again in tight leather mini skirt and close-fitting blouse. He can't deny the attraction but he would rather die than touch her. He beamed at her and started unbuttoning his shirt…

         Outside the room, eavesdroppers Ceras and Walter looked at their watches and realized that it was just 10pm. Those two still have a long way to go. A long time to tease and torture each other.     

         Integra gathered herself and thought evilly, _Alucard, I will win. Prepare to lose and most of prepare to meet the Integra you haven't seen before._

         TBC

**Author's Blah-Blah2: **Ok guys, admit it. It's kinda boring, ne? But well as I've said the next one is gonna be good. Review pls? 


	3. Of Moans and Groans

**Author's Blah-Blah**: Well, hello there. I updated this fic due to your demands. See? Told you I know how to update fics you just have to *winks* encourage me a bit. You know, review, e-mail me or whatsoever. Ehehehhehehe.

         ANYWAYS, the anicon exhausted me so much and my launch as a cosplayer turned out well, Let's just hope I can shell out more money for the next  con. Now for some replies…

**Ashtoreth:** Wow! Thanks, I really thought that I m boring everyone out of their minds ^_^ You know that's exactly why I am putting so much humor in my fics! Hey, this is for you! You really made my day with your nice reviews.

**PrettyBirdyGirl:** Ohohoho! I'll try to insert Alexander here to. I like him to. If he's not here then he's sure to appear in my other fics.

**VampireHunter:** Aw man! Thanks for the appreciation! Glad to make you laugh, hope this will turn out funny for you too ^0^

**Diefbaby:** GRANTED!GRANTED!GRANTED!

**TeaRoses**: Hey, thanks! This is for you. You inspired me to write soooooo much more. Hopefully I'll squeeze out more creative juices once I got over my flu. And no, it's not SARS.

**Rei-chan**; Arigatou! This is for you *evil grin* Let's just see who will win the game.

**Snowbound:** I am so grateful! Really I am! Have you read my other fics? Hehehhehe, they're the same as this.

**M.Kasshoku:** Maybe Alucard won't win this time. Hehehhe, this is for you.

**Seravy:** OHOHOHO! Let's just see who will merge as the victor.

**Pantherandlovingit**: Thankies for the appreciation. This is for you also. Actually the whole fic is dedicated to all of you 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hellsing or any anime. I am poor…alone…

         Hace Calor

         Alucard maintained eye contact as he sensuously unbuttoned his shirt while his Master intent on winning sat on the edge of the bed directly in front of the vampire and delicately crossed her legs. Alucard feigned indifference despite the sudden quickening of his pulse as he was awarded with an awesome display of silky smooth upper thighs. His hands trembled as Integra leaned back letting her elbows support her upper body weight. The posture Integra displayed blatantly made her small shirt ride up her stomach once more.

         Red eyes narrowed as the vampire mentally cursed himself for his big and obnoxious mouth for making that awful deal, _Damn it! She's getting into me, she's getting me!_

"Hey, Alucard why did you stop strip-teasing?" Integra asked then licking her lips she added, "Why something's distracting you? Or maybe _someone_"

         Refusing to be taunted, Alucard took reign over his self-control and lied, "No, not really. Maybe you are. You're just ogling at me. You're not doing your part at all." He countered.

         A vein popped out of Integra, "Excuse me, I am _not _ogling." She defended crisply.

         Finally finished with his buttons, Alucard slid himself out of the garment and seductively struck a pose in front of Integra. He watched triumphantly as he saw those blue eyes darken with emotion. He also smirked when he saw her swallow… hard. 

         _Damn, I am just too hot even she was affected by my sensuality, _Alucard thought smugly.

         True, the Hellsing leader was having a hard time focusing. The moment she saw his naked upper body she could see nothing else. No matter how she tried to divert her gaze, it would always magnetically return back to those wide shoulders, trim stomach, pale skin-

         _Integra Windgates Helsing, Stop looking at that idiot's body like you've never seen a naked man before!_ Her mind berated her.

         She shrunk back shamelessly. She was acting like some dazed teen. Integra had seen half-naked men all throughout her life, her father, Walter, some random deranged freaks, her men during training but then why was she acting like a wanton? They all have the same components to be a man so why be hot and bothered by one of them?

         Of all times, the illogical and aphrodisiac-laden side of Integra intruded. Maybe_ because Alucard is young, pale and undeniably sexy! All the men you've claimed to see naked were old, wrinkly or sweaty and disgustingly ugly while on training. Look at Alucard, see if there's a flaw. _

Blue eyes cautiously roamed at Alucard's body and her mind only processed two words, Sex God.

         Aphrodisiac-laden Integra cackled evilly. _Oh my, you're attracted to him and he's undoubtedly the same as well why not give it a go? _

         "Master, like what you see?" Alucard purred interrupting the on-going battle of Integra's different faces.

         Integra sniffed, "If you're talking about your body Alucard I just have to say that I've seen better. You're not so sexy as you think you are."

         "Really, but why are you blushing and why are you clutching the bed sheets so tight?"

         Integra reddened the more and she lifted her hands away from the poor crumpled sheets as if they were freaks' head. Stupid hands, they were giving her away. Yet being the proud and icy cold princess that she truly was, she blew frost over Alucard's blatant evidence and sneered, "Well, I am just trying to restrain myself from strangling you."

         ****

******11:00 PM**

_Must not give up, _Integra thought wildly as she battled Alucard through a staring contest. She gritted her teeth painfully when the sensation of drying eyeballs grew persistent. For a few minutes now, they had wordlessly engaged themselves on a duel of whose eyeballs will last the longest.

         The vampire on the other hand was having a hard time also keeping his eyes focused however it was because of another reason. Alucard was having problems keeping his gaze fixed on Integra. He tried his very best not let his stare trail towards the provocative view that she had unconsciously granted him.

         You see, Integra on the course of glowering at Alucard had instinctively scooted closer and was practically leaning towards him with her palms resting on either side if her thighs as she rested on the bed. She was fully concentrating that she forgot certain things like (1) She was wearing a skirt (2) In connection with no. 1 her legs were erm-slightly open revealing her intimate apparel (3) In connection with nos. 1 and 2 that Alucard was practically salivating right in front of her.

         _The sinful skirt got to love Ceras' fashion sense, _Alucard thought to himself as Integra scooted closer, pouted a bit and squinted her eyes a little. Later, when everything's well he would have to thank the old man (Walter) for thinking of the brilliant idea of throwing Integra's luggage off the street when she wasn't looking. Of course, the 'accidental' spilling by Ceras should also be credited. He grinned evilly, his Master didn't stand a chance against the three of them combined.

         All of a sudden, his musings were interrupted by Ceras who rudely barged in without knocking at all.

         Ceras was immediately smoldered by the fiery fighting aura discharged by two. She quietly closed the door behind her while clutching the VCDs that Walter forced her to bring to them.

         Really now, seeing the two of them occupied just like that made her really nervous. She didn't really want to interrupt but Walter will starve her and keep all the medical blood if she didn't follow him. "Ano…erm…excuse me?" She timidly interrupted.

         "What?" Integra snarled irritably. 

         At this, Ceras, visibly winced. Now, she was really really scared. She took a hesitant step forward and almost jumped off when Integra raised an impatient hand and motioned for her too be quick to execute whatever horrors Walter devised for her for the evening.

         "Don't just stand there, state what you want and be quick about it!" The older blonde spat out startling Ceras the more.

         Alucard hissed his agreement. His fledgling was acting like an idiot just standing there. He was almost ashamed to have made her but who wouldn't be scared in the face of a death match such as this?

         Ceras having no other choice carried out what was expected of her. "Anou, Walter asked me to give this movies for you guys to watch hoping that this would keep you guys entertained and save ourselves from further hotel expenses from the furniture you will destroy in your fighting."

         "Just pop it in the player and leave us be and tell that crinkly old man never to bother us again!" Alucard roared clearly irritated.

         Ceras mutely nodded, quickly did everything that was instructed to her and sped out of the room in a flash.

         One again, they resumed their combat, not minding the movie being played on the entertainment set in front of them. After a few minutes, Integra knew that she was already suffering one of the worst eyestrains that she would experience in her entire life. Alucard meanwhile was now reaching for a tissue for Integra's intimate apparel proved to be too strong for him. He swore that one more minute and he would probably hyperventilate and nose bleed himself to death.

         When the two was on the verge of giving up they heard something awfully sickening from the movie being played…

         "_Ahhh…touch me…yes…ohhhh…"_

_         "Harder…harder…HARDER!"_      

         Two pairs of stunned eyes locked their gaze on the TV screen and were awarded with a close-up view of the juiciest parts of a R-18 movie.

         Alucard nosebleed.

         Integra paled.

         A few more excruciating seconds of realization before…

         "Turn it off! Turn that god damn thing off!" Integra panicked as she rummaged through the bed sheets for the remote control.

         "How?!" Alucard retorted back. He wasn't normally the unnerved type but given the growing arousal and the situation, he was no better than Integra.

         Integra made useless movements with her hands as she stood on top of the bed, "Just push the goddamn power button on the T.V."

         Alucard not wasting any time dove toward the television  and switched it off,

         Integra was about to let out a huge sigh of relief when another wave of erotic sounds hit them…

         _"I am coming…coming…."_

_         "Ohh…harder…Ahhh…AHHHHHHH"_

The orgasmic scream that followed coming from the VCD player stunned Integra and Alucard. They forgot to turn off the blasted VCD player in panic.

         **1:28 AM**

         "Ok, we learned our lesson. No multimedia. No entertainment system to erm- entertain us. For now, let us enjoy the peace and quiet." Integra said calmly but inside she was still trembling of the after shock  of that brief encounter with a porn movie. When morning comes, she'll have Walter and Ceras hide for putting her in such a delicate situation. She was afraid that Alucard might loose control and pounce on her upon seeing that movie. Truth was, she was so afraid that the movie might give Alucard some ideas and she knew fully well not to deal with horny vampires.

         She remembered once when Alucard was having **that **need and she being the object of his desire was being taunted and chased nonstop all through out the mansion and even half way across the world. For one whole week, she wore way too clothes for her own good  and insisted that Walter and Ceras be on her side even when she was bathing,eating and doing her biological needs. Hell, even after ALucard resumed back to his normal self she had to be drugged for her to finally sleep. That week was hell for her, there was nothing that could stop him even her bullets, her screams and mental/verbal assaults.

         She shuddered at what might have been.

         Alucard sighed and firmly set a chair in front of Integra yet kept her distance from her. He casually leaned on the wall and just stared at her willing for his heart to beat normally but the sight of her quickened it the more. But then he can't really stay his eyes away from his sun-kissed goddess, he can't stop adoring her, not now nor tomorrow or the coming centuries.

         Integra uncomfortably lifted the bed sheet and slid in between the safety of sheets and mattress. She wouldn't be risking having another inch of her skin exposed and she doesn't care at all if she's sweating like a pig. It's much more better than having a hot and bothered Alucard breathing and panting near her. With her steely blue eyes on him, she fished out a book from her bag and covered her face with it and pretended to read,

         "Master, your book is upside down."

         Integra blushed and turned the book.

         For quite a while it continued, the excruciating silence and the two's pretentious act of being busy until…

         _Thud!_

_         "_Heard that?" Alucard asked his Master.

         Integra nodded and crawled to the wall nearest her. She knew that the sound was coming from there.

         Alucard followed suit and pressed his ear close. He heard a muffled scream followed by more thuds like a body being slammed repeatedly against the wall.

         "Could it be a freak?" Integra asked letting her sentence trail off.

         "No, let's listen first. We can't just barge in their room like that."

         They listened then they wished they hadn't.

         What followed the supposedly assaulting sounds of someone being tortured were actually noises of someone being tormented erotically. ALucard and Integra reddened when they heard the all too familiar slamming of the headboard against the wall and the similar moans and groans they heard on the porn movie earlier.

         "Oh heavens!" Integra backed away, climbing back to bed and wrapping around herself more blankets.

         Alucard was laughing manically. His control was waiting and WANTING to snap and he knew that he was close to pouncing on Integra. He almost swayed his way towards the balcony right in front of Integra's bed and pushed the two doors open. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! The walls sure are thin but never mind let us enjoy the moonlight."

         Then once again they wished they hadn't for a room of the building directly in front of them was currently exhibiting a passionate silhouette dance of lovemaking.

         Alucard's mouth dropped open and his eyes almost popped out of his sockets. The fiery orange glow sheltered by a thick curtain from inside the room added more intensity to the wildly moving figures in throes of pleasure. He backed away farther and farther until the back of his knees hit the bed. He stumbled and fell right into the of a dazed Integra who was also watching the carnal shadow dance from the room next building.

         Integra stared.

         Alucard stared.

         Without warning, pillows thumped his face nonstop as Integra tried to push him away off her.

         "Get off me," She cried as she pounded him over and over again.

         "I can't unless you stop hitting me. I can't move!" Alucard tried to reason.

         Integra stopped and like a new spring he jumped off her. Panting he felt his face aching, he never thought that pillows could hurt you but then it was Integra who was beating him.

         **3:02 AM**

         For hours now, nothing disastrous happened. They were enjoying the stillness that hovered over them, From the experiences, they decided not to have any contact at all too afraid that one thing might lead to another.

         Alucard was deep in contemplation. He made sure he kept his eyes closed afraid that if he opened them he might see something that would make him loose control. The only sound he heard was the persistent ticking of the clock and Integra's movements and voice  on the phone as she requested for delivery some variety of food into the room. But then just those two (the sounds aforementioned) were enough to send him off the edge. Even without visual presentation, just the noisess of Integra moving about in an empty room made him feel unnecessary things such as that disturbing stirring within his body.

         Just when Alucard thought this was truly hard as hell, he heard a loud noise.

         _Suck…Suck…suck_

_         No, I will not open my eyes and be contaminated by lust. Master won't win! _He vowed to himself. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut and resumed his concentration of erm-concentrating.

         _Suck…Suck…Suck…_

Not being able to take it anymore, Alucard opened one eye and saw one of the most highly erotic scenes he has ever seen in his entire life.

         _Suck…Suck…Suck_

Integra the icy princess was having the grandest time of her life sucking the sweetness and flavor out of a strawberry Popsicle and a lollipop. She was alternately ravishing the two and from the flavor and food coloring Integra's mouth turned into a slight blood red color.

         _Oh god, _ Alucard breathed out. He noted to himself that lollipops and Popsicles were phallic symbols and kids shouldn't eat them lest they want to be molested.

         _Suck…Suck…Suck…_

Integra was too busy enjoying her treats that she didn't notice that Alucard was gawking at her. For her, she tasted the sweets that her Father deprived from her.  Being raised in such  a strict family, she wasn't allowed such things and now she knew she missed lots. She was having the time of her life sucking the strawberry flavored sweets she ordered. 

         The frozen Popsicle combined with the lolly relieved her of the poor air-conditioning and the extreme heat. She sighed contentedly and fell back on the pillows.

         Alucard was on the verge of insanity, if he won't touch her not even a strand of her hair then he'd die.

         _Suck…Suck…Suck…_

****

**     3:05 AM**

****

         Alucard having no more self-control did what he should do… he ran. One more second and he'll lose the game and do more than touch her. He'd rather suffer now than have 10 years of solitude with her.

He sped out of the room leaving an overly curious Integra staring after him.

         It took a minute or two for the truth to dawn and when it did  Integra let out a whoop of joy. Alucard can't bear it and just walked out while she on the other hand was as cool as ice.

         She stepped out of the bed and drew herself a bath.

**     6:02 AM**

Integra had just gotten out of the bath. She felt cold and wrinkly all over but that was alright considering the heat outside that she was about to face. She peeked into outside and saw the sun rising then she remembered that she and Alucard hadn't touched each other and so who would merge as the winner?

Then she recalled the mirror, she quickly went to the dresser and was surprised at what she saw.

Alucard's mirror reflected her face.

Her  mirror reflected Alucard's face.

She screamed.

Nobody won.

End????????

**Author's blah: ** This Chapter is sucky. I thought it would turn out good but then it still lacks humor. Damn it, I am losing my touch. I don't even know how to write *weeps*. Muraki, help me!

Muraki: erm, I can relieve you of the pain that you're feeling. How about a kiss?

Me: Ah, mi amor! 


End file.
